Somethings

Sometimes I just need to shut my mouth, get out of my head and except things for what they are. I really spend too much time in my head, over working what is simply what it is.

On a lighter note;
I AM OFFICIALLY A SAC STUDENT!!!
Of course, I don't think I can register until January, BUT the stressful part is over. And, GAWD, was it stressful.
I went to NLC and asked what I needed to do; apply, submit and make sure it went through.
Submitted my application to transfer my credits.
Went in the next day to make sure it went through, where they told me that it takes 48 hours.
(There is only one counselor who is good at telling you everything you need to know the first time. I still don't know his name but he always seems to be the last one I talk to)
{Did I mention this was Thursday and the schools close Friday until January}
Called today around noon after Ted left.
They said it went through.
I went to sign in. It rejected my default PIN.
Tried again. Nothing.
Tried again. I got locked out.
Mom and I went to the school to reset it.
The ladies at the front desk told me to call the service number.
I did (I was smart enough to do it there), they said SAC hadn't assigned me a PIN yet and I needed to call Admissions.
Admissions closes at 3.00 on Fridays, it was 2.59.
Mom had the great idea of asking if they could do it there at NLC, they could.
Waited what felt like an hour for an available counselor.
(there was a girl before me who was either registering or transferring and had somehow accomplished to do it without her social so the counselor was having tons of issues)
Finally, a second counselor came out and called my name.
He gave me a PIN.
(took about five minutes, if not less)
We went to one of the computers there.
It worked but I had to change it from the default first.
I collapsed on the floor in happiness.
(Okay, not really but I was very tempted)

I was so glad my mom was there with me. There were a couple times when I was about two seconds from collapsing on the floor in a stress driven fit. Thankfully, she nearly always knows what to do when in a stressful situation where as my brain shuts off and just wants to scream. I really don't handle stress well. Though I am getting better. There was a time when I would have just shut down and given up until it was too late to do anything.
Learning to read my levels of emotion is something I have really learned this past year. The ability to stop and say to myself "Okay, your freaking out. Stop and breath for a second" is just breathtaking. The other day I was at Ted's house and I could feel myself starting to inch over that breaking point, so I stood up and told Nich and Matt that I was going to go stand outside. I ended up walking for about half an hour in the freezing weather and the mist but I was able to calm myself down enough to sort somethings out that needed to be sorted.
I know it sounds like a small and strange victory but for someone who was so emotionally out of control for nearly six years it really is a huge change. I feel ninety percent different than I did a year ago. I think I can confidently say that I am nothing like the person I was in Highschool.
I finally feel as if my life is going forward.

Now, I need to go reacquaint myself with Billy Blanks.
Ted reinstated the introductions and, frankly, I think I have fallen in love all over again.

-Disco-